The human body is absolutely incredible and something that deserves to be celebrated on a daily basis.  It grows and develops.  It changes over time and throughout the years.  It adapts to the stress we put on it and gets stronger.  And yet think about how we often talk about our bodies.  It is usually with a lot of judgment and negativity, with very little kindness and compassion.  Our body responds to how we talk to it, how we fuel it, and how we treat it.  We have one beautiful, powerful, strong, unique body in this life.  We must treat it as such.

When the question “what is something you regret?” comes up, one of the answers that comes to mind is how poorly I treated my body in high school and the first part of college.  Instead of celebrating my body, I was tearing it down both mentally and physically.  Restrictive eating, over exercising, yelling at my body for not looking a certain way, not recognizing the place and importance of rest, avoiding various food groups, holding onto arbitrary food “rules” that my brain picked up along the way, and attaching my motivation and dedication to the sport to my ability to “eat clean” wore on my body and mind and eventually caught up to me. 

“Instead of celebrating my body, I was tearing it down mentally and physically”

Multiple stress fractures later, I began to learn the importance of getting a regular period and how the loss of it leads to decreases in bone density.  I wish I would’ve known in high school that years of under-fueling leads to decreased bone density during a time period that is critical for building bone mass for life.  I wish I would’ve known that my dedication to the sport isn’t contingent upon how strict I can be with what I eat.  In fact, my dedication is shown through how I care for my body, through giving it the nutrients it needs and craves.  I wish I would’ve known that more [training] isn’t better, that rest is a key part of training that is often overlooked.  I wish I would’ve known that I shouldn’t believe every food “rule” I came across on social media or tv.  I wish I would’ve known that there aren’t “good” or “bad” foods, that food isn’t earned, and that listening to my body and taking control of my mind is an extremely liberating feeling.  I wish I would’ve focused on how I felt on a daily basis instead of what I looked like.  I wish I would’ve stopped the weighing and the “body checking” and paid more attention to how I was feeling.  I wish I would’ve known the toll that under-fueling was taking on my mental health.  I wish I would’ve asked for help sooner.

As I began to make changes and challenge the negative thoughts and unhealthy food “rules,” I felt out of control.  Challenging the status quo of what my body and mind were used to was frightening.  But now I know that I wasn’t losing control, but rather I was gaining it.  I was taking control of my mind and taking ownership of my body.  I learned that the mind is like a muscle and it needs to be trained like one.  I learned the importance of embracing the discomfort and challenging the arbitrary food “rules” that my mind had created.  The more you do it, the easier it gets. 

“Now I know I wasn’t losing control, but rather I was gaining it”

I learned that both the quality and quantity of food matters.  That a diet rich in carbohydrates with very little fat doesn’t give the body what it needs.  I learned that building a support system that holds you accountable is crucial.  I learned the importance of setting small nutrition goals along the way and sharing them with others so they can help you reach them.  I learned that it is never too late to make positive fueling changes, get a regular period, and start building bone density again.  But I also learned that the sooner you commit to these changes the better.  I learned the importance of focusing on gaining strength instead of losing weight.  I learned the importance of finding self-worth and confidence from within.   I learned that gaining awareness and taking action are two separate steps, both equally necessary.  I learned that this journey is a lifelong process with good days and bad days. 

“More importantly, I learned the power that comes from a strong body that is properly fueled and celebrated!”