Rachael Steil’s love of running started early. Very early. In fact, she ran her first race in kindergarten where she placed second. This early introduction to the sport was a result of having a mother who ran, and once Rachael got a taste of it, she was hooked. Young Rachael followed training plans her mom drew up for her, emphasizing that the plans were conservative, gradual and that her mother highlighted fun above all else and was never overbearing or intense. Once middle school and high school rolled around, Rachael was thrilled to be able to run on a real team and continue her running journey.

In her later high school years, Rachael began to become more aware of weight and certain areas of her body that she thought could be improved. Her quest for weight loss and “health” started with small restrictions and attempting to eat healthier but she was still eating three meals a day. As is not uncommon with young athletes, especially females, Rachael’s quest to eat health took a dangerous turn.

Rachael continued to run cross country and track in college and by that time, she was obsessed with food and running. She had dropped quite a bit of weight going into college and soon after starting running really well. She was breaking school records and it didn’t take long before she started to associate running fast with weighing less. Rachael reflects that during that time however, she wasn’t connected with friends and she felt distant from her teammates. Her food obsession was taking over her life.

During her “healthy eating” journey, Rachael dabbled in the raw food diet and displayed the classic signs of orthorexia – an unhealthy obsession with consuming only “healthy”, “clean” food. It was the binge eating that finally made her seek help. She just wanted to binge eating to stop and she found that she was unsuccessful at stopping it on her own…that terrified her.

Rachael sought help from a dietitian and a therapist specializing in eating disorders and is now recovered from anorexia and binge eating. She shares that during her recovery, she struggled to figure out who she was without running and food obsession. At first, she was uncomfortable with weight gain and the idea that her running wasn’t what it used to be. Dear reader: I know hearing this may scare you. You want to be fast; you want to run well. You may be tempted to use the fact that Rachael’s times got slower as she regained weight and her health as proof that you should continue restricting yourself. Know this: had Rachael not sought out help when she did, she is sure that she would have run into even more problems that would have prevented her from running healthy and happy. Maybe not right away, but it would have. The path she was on before seeking help was simply not sustainable. Her running, and overall health would have suffered more than it already had. Restriction, binging, and poor mental health is never the answer.

Rachael is now a coach, author of Running in Silence, speaker and founder of Running in Silence – a nonprofit organization committed to breaking eating disorder misconceptions, heightening awareness and making a change in athletics. Check it out at www.runninginsilence.org. Here is her message to young athletes who may be suffering:

Ask for help. If you have even the smallest inkling you might have a problem, reach out to someone you trust. If they aren’t supportive, reach out to someone else. Someone will listen. Speak up, even if you’re scared. It’s totally normal to be resistant to asking for help but in the end, it’s worth it. Your health it worth it. Your future is worth it. YOU are worth it.

To read Rachael’s full story, consider reading her memoir mentioned above entitled Running in Silence. She also was recently interviewed for @socialsportpod RED-S series – a great listen.

If you take anything away from Rachael’s story please let it be this: don’t be afraid to ask for help.